My parent was scammed. What do I do now?

Be in the same room if you can, or on a three-way call. Unless you already have authority on the account, the bank will talk to your parent, not to you.

• Call the bank's fraud line, from the number on the card or the bank's own website. Ask them to stop anything pending and, for a wire or transfer already sent, to send a recall request to the receiving bank right away. Mention your parent’s age: many banks have a team for scams against older customers.
• Cut the line of contact. If someone was given remote access to the computer, often after a fake tech-support call and an app like AnyDesk or TeamViewer, unplug it from the internet and leave it off until it's been checked. Change the email and bank passwords from another device.
• Paid by card or gift card? Call the number on the back of the card today. A card company can dispute a charge, and a gift card company may be able to freeze what's left. Keep the cards and receipts.
• Keep everything. Messages, call logs, receipts, the app or site. Your parent may want to delete it all out of embarrassment. It's the evidence.

A recall only works on money that hasn't moved on yet, so this call comes before the conversation.

Shame is the main reason older people never report. Many were told to keep it secret, and some have been talking to the person every day for months.

Ask to see the messages rather than asking how they could have believed them. Say what was done to them, not what they did: "they lied to you", not "you sent it".

If your parent still trusts the person, arguing tends to push them closer. Look for the moment the story breaks instead: a fee or a "tax" before they can withdraw, a new reason to send more, a request to keep it from family. Point at that, together.

Someone who has paid once is on a list. Expect calls from "recovery" companies, lawyers your parent never contacted, someone saying they're from the FBI or the bank's fraud team, or "tech support" offering a refund, often offering to get the money back for a fee.

One rule to give your parent: nobody real calls first and asks for money, crypto, gift cards or access to the computer. Hang up and call the number on the card. That rule holds for us too: we never call first, and never ask for crypto or gift cards.

• A trusted contact on bank and brokerage accounts: someone the institution may call if it sees something wrong, with no power to move money.
• Alerts on large payments and new payees, sent to your parent and, if they agree, to you.
• A credit freeze at the three credit bureaus. It's free, takes about ten minutes each, and makes it much harder to open new credit in their name.
• Two-step verification on their email and bank, so a stolen password alone won't get anyone in.
• Gave out a Social Security number or a photo of an ID? Report it at IdentityTheft.gov, and get an IRS Identity Protection PIN at irs.gov/ippin.
• Power of attorney is a bigger step, and the rules differ by state. It's a conversation for a lawyer where your parent lives.

1. The National Elder Fraud Hotline, 833-372-8311. A case manager helps file the reports.
2. The FBI at ic3.gov, as soon as possible, with the details of every payment.
3. Local police, in person. Ask for a report number. Banks and exchanges often ask for it when you file a fraud claim.
4. Adult Protective Services in your parent's county, if someone close to them is involved.

Report it anyway. Police and the FBI can link reports from many victims, so your parent’s may connect to a bigger case against the same scammers. A report also puts the loss on the official record, which helps later: for a tax claim, or a claim if the government ever seizes the money.

The loss may also lower your parent's taxes. Since a 2025 IRS memo, losses from investment scams can be deductible; romance losses usually can't, yet. Larkspire, Inc., our sister company, has a free check of whether a loss can be deducted on larkspiretax.com.

When the money went by wire, transfer or crypto, someone has to ask the bank or exchange that received it to freeze it, and then get it back from there. That's legal work, and it goes faster with a lawyer who knows whom to write to.

Larkspire Law's free assessment is something you can fill in together. A person usually replies the same business day, and the written answer says plainly if there's no realistic path. If there is one, the fee is set in writing before any work starts: a flat fee or none, plus a share only if money comes back. Nothing else comes out of your pocket.